a gift... ? yes a gift.

This has been a crazy time for us as a family, so many changes, so much unknown, it would have been easy to worry.

 I know I have found myself at the door to worry many times, holding the handle, about to absentmindedly enter, when i would suddenly look up and think

 "what ? why am i here?"

 i don't remember approaching this door, yet it seems natural to just go in and sit awhile...  after all, i have been here so many times it is almost comforting, i can see the inside of the room calling me to come, sit, maybe pace the floor, cry, rant, and yes, worry.

and then i hear something,  a bird singing,  the puppy crying to go outside, the kids saying they want a story, and i remember...

there is no one in the worry room but me, there is no puppy crying, no bird singing, no kids playing, there is no life,
and i make a choice,

i choose life...

with all the noise and busyness, with all the trials and sudden changes, i choose life.

and when i make that choice,
when i turn away from worrys door,

i see Him

the one i have chosen above worry,
the one who gives life,
the one who gave His life
the one who is my life

Jesus

and with Him is peace,
not the quiet of a room full of worry,
but the peace found in a room full of life

and i find i can breathe again, that the stressful times are a gift ~ because i get to choose again what i have chosen before, so many times,

 life,
peace,
and faith in the One who brings both.

and i remember that this life is small, and all to soon it will end, and eternity will begin, then what will matter is not the stress, but the choice i made in it. 

the gift. 
the giver of the gift. 
Salvation belongs to the Lord,
and He has given it to me,
and now, this stress, this chaos, these changes,

they are only a reminder,

that i can trust the one i have given my life to,
that i can have peace, not as the world has, but of God.

and i find my heart is not so troubled, nor am i afraid

tonight, right now, i remember the gift...  and i thank the giver