krinkle-pop scally-wag

i still remember the first time i saw you, you were so small and snugly,
i was so big, being 8 months pregnant with my first child, and so distant,
still grieving the loss of my most beloved pit bull, i found it hard to accept snuggles from a new puppy.
you were fuzzy like a tiny teddy bear with sparkly eyes like a creature from a great fairytale
and as you grew you became more the creature everyday, so full of life, and adventure,
yet for me all your sparkle only reminded me of the one i had lost
and i could not connect with you.

you became my husbands dog so quickly
he could connect
he was not grieving the same way i was
he saw you as the gift you were,
your own being
not to be compared
just to be loved

then came the baby and the busy-ness that come with a baby
and you were in the shadows
but you are not one to live in shadows and it was not long before you were sneaking out to give a gentle kiss to baby and mama, to bring a ball for fetch, how good you r at getting me to throw a ball even when i say no more, somehow i find the ball placed gently in my hand and two sparkly eyes peeking out of a scruffy face and the ball gets thrown, one more time.

somehow against all my defenses i found myself loving you
not because you are like my cheeka
but for all the ways you are so very very different from her.

so many dogs have come and gone since then and you have remained
our faithful loving creature girl,

then came the day i brought home a pit bull puppy
needless to say chaos reigned,
and then another pit bull enters the mix and i see my krinkle-pop retreating

now i find myself in such a tough spot because i love you
because i love my pit bulls
because i know you are not happy
and in your sadness my heart breaks

i hate that you hide in your kennel because the other dogs are to rough
i hate that after all you have given to us you feel you have to hide
i hate that to keep you is selfish
i hate that to give you away hurts so much

but i love you
i love the way you jump up and down waiting for the ball to be thrown
i love the way you sing for a treat
i love that you are so very gentle
i love that even tho i could not love you when you first came to me, you somehow tricked me into it anyway.

and because i love you i know i must let you have the life you deserve
i must choose what is best for you over what is easier for me
i must let you go.

i will always love you and because of that
i will make sure you have a family that treasures you
because you are a treasure,

and because i owe that to you.