my fathers hands, and other memories

i don't have alot of memories of my dad,
when i was young he was working,
when i was older it was complicated,
but i do have some
and i cherish them

building me a bike from parts found in a jumble at grandpas
going for a walk down the gravel road
exploring the old school house
there was a bee
he protected me
holding his big hand with my little one

being stranded on the roof of one of the farm buildings
(it was a bit to high to take off in flight from, the fence worked better)
him rescuing me
taking apart the rabbit run
my tooth is still chipped
the swimming pool he put up for us even tho he was not a swimmer
the hours he spent keeping it clean and usable
watching him put the drops in the tiny bottles to see if it was safe for us to swim
the firepit and roasting wieners
he was always so good at the roasting
him telling me there was one boy i could not date
dating him anyway only to find his advice was sound

my dad didn't talk alot
at least not to me
but when he did he had something to say worth hearing
i only wish i had listened more closely

for a time we were not close
for a time i thought he did not love me at all
for a time i thought i did not love him either
i was wrong
on both counts

now as i watch him grandfather my little ones
i am amazed at how he loves them
and i am sad i lost so much time
and i am glad to be making new memories

walking up the steep hill behind his house
him holding my not so tiny hand in his still very large one
picking rocks on the beach
the waterfall (and seeing it in two very different seasons)

the view from the playhouse
more moss than my creative mind knows what to do with

Christmas morning while my little ones eat chocolate (and so do i)
cheesies

lola injuring my precious gypsy
him worrying about how i will react
a cup of coffee and homemade bread
that he made

soup made from a box of weeds
garden gnomes
his sense of humor
his love of nature
that i love it too

my dad has been many things to me in my life
but there are three words that best describe him now
grandpa
dad
friend

i am truly blessed ~ and i finally understand that.
i love you dad